He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
