Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
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