Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
