2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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