whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
