What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
