I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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