they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
50% drunk capacity currently
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?