Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.