So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Randomize
