It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
