Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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