I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize