I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
this just has baby written all over it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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