Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
