More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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