I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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