I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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