Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
