Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
