Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
