my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
