He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
