I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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