i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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