I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
