I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
