yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
