Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
