arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
