Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
