and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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