U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
