At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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