TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
