im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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