This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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