So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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