Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
