Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
