the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
