I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
