what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
