oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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