I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
