I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
