as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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