Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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