Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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