we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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