I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
