3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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