nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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