I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
