Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
