so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
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I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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